Monday, March 26, 2007

Poem I

As said, i'll also post stuff i wrote here. Probably most of it in English, just 'coz i like it better :-).
Here's the first:

Lying here I think of you,

Feeling a little down and blue.

But you’re my sparkling sky alit,

No matter what you ever did.

I feel hope,

I feel you,

Suddenly,

I no more feel so blue.

Your soft skin and your soft hair,

Is all I need to get out of there.

That empty void,

That never ending space.

It sucks me right in,

And all I can do is gaze.

But you’re always here,

And when all I do is fear,

You help me,

You save me,

I love you, my dear.


I'm still looking for a title, so if all of you creative minds out there would want to help me, that'd be nice :-D

6 comments:

Unknown said...

That's very nice [to keep it English =P]. I like it a lot.
▓ FmJ ▒

PenTa said...

It's weird :-).
Everyone who reads something i wrote, they like it... I never do... i (most of the time) think they suck >_< XP

Anne said...

hey, i know the feeling... I was so insecure about my demo, and now people actually like it!
you already knew i like your blog, and this poem is beautiful...
can't help you with a title though, i'm really bad at making up titles for things...
Hug,
Anne

Dornul said...

I Agree Penta, It is weird.
I like the concept of youre poem but I think you should stick to one style the next time you write something. It makes it better to read as a poem that way.

PenTa said...

no offense paul, but my definition of poetry is just a bunch of words after each other in a way they sound nice, and preferrably have a hidden meaning. That's my "style", and not one poem i ever wrote deviates from it. And you're actually the very first person in my life to be a bad critic to my poem. ^^

Dornul said...

Don't thank me for it. It's just in my nature to be honest and speak my mind.