Here's the first:
Lying here I think of you,
Feeling a little down and blue.
But you’re my sparkling sky alit,
No matter what you ever did.
I feel hope,
I feel you,
Suddenly,
I no more feel so blue.
Your soft skin and your soft hair,
Is all I need to get out of there.
That empty void,
That never ending space.
It sucks me right in,
And all I can do is gaze.
But you’re always here,
And when all I do is fear,
You help me,
You save me,
I love you, my dear.
I'm still looking for a title, so if all of you creative minds out there would want to help me, that'd be nice :-D
6 comments:
That's very nice [to keep it English =P]. I like it a lot.
▓ FmJ ▒
It's weird :-).
Everyone who reads something i wrote, they like it... I never do... i (most of the time) think they suck >_< XP
hey, i know the feeling... I was so insecure about my demo, and now people actually like it!
you already knew i like your blog, and this poem is beautiful...
can't help you with a title though, i'm really bad at making up titles for things...
Hug,
Anne
I Agree Penta, It is weird.
I like the concept of youre poem but I think you should stick to one style the next time you write something. It makes it better to read as a poem that way.
no offense paul, but my definition of poetry is just a bunch of words after each other in a way they sound nice, and preferrably have a hidden meaning. That's my "style", and not one poem i ever wrote deviates from it. And you're actually the very first person in my life to be a bad critic to my poem. ^^
Don't thank me for it. It's just in my nature to be honest and speak my mind.
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